In the Year 4012
February 28, 2012 § 2 Comments
I’m starting a new blog series. It’s inspired by my fascination with the past and everyday life. When I’m reading things from the past, I appreciate the most mundane details. It thrills me to the bone to hear Jane Austen describe the neighbor’s shrubs or her latest ribbons. It doesn’t have to be a famous person, but it always helps if the author adds a little pizzazz.
I’m going to make some future person’s day by putting this info on my blog! I’ve decided to share with her all these things I like to read about. She will stumble upon this and go “wow, on this day in 2012 she wore bright blue rain boots and ate frozen veggie burgers for lunch. NO WAY!”
Dear Woman In The Future,
Today I woke up and had a bowl of oatmeal. I put it in this electrical box we call a microwave. You probably think this is really cute, but we actually still cook our food.
I tended to my young children all day because I stay home while my husband works. They both have electronic toys that I would love to smother in the aforementioned oatmeal. You see, in our times people who don’t have children give your kids gifts that make a lot of noise. I think it’s punishment for having to hear us talk nonstop about child-rearing. One such toy has played Beethoven all day. Some people of our time think it will make children smarter, but I believe it just makes parents hate xylophones.
I wore stretchy yoga pants all day although I haven’t done actual yoga in years. A lot of women like to wear these pants whilst relaxing. It’s rainy outside and that has made me want to fart around on the internet all day.
Since it’s five o’clock, I’ll probably go have a beer while I fix a dinner of boiled noodles and spaghetti sauce from a jar.